Sunday Mailbag: MAD Questions?

A: Hi Tom! Two questions.

First, what mandatory actions will inevitably take place that you feel in your gut will be guided by destiny to sky rocket the popularity of the printed MAD magazine on a path to go above and beyond the highest peak in readership from the 70s to three million readers once again making reading MAD cooler than listening to Led Zeppelin while having sex on a motorcycle that sits on top of a skateboard on fire with a cigarette in your mouth, just like it already is?

I am probably not supposed to reveal this, but MAD does have a proposed plan to increase it’s circulation to greatest heights ever.

What they are going to do is tape a $6 bill into the interior of every MAD. Since cover price is $5.99, this will make MAD the first magazine ever that is profitable to buy. The copies will fly off the shelves, second and third printing will be demanded, fire, brimstone, cats and dogs living together… it will be pandemonium.

I see two big problems with this plan. One: It will be hard to get DC Entertainment to agree to do it because the cost of all the Scotch™ tape they will need to tape all those bills into the magazine will be significant. Two: the supply of $6 bills is very limited since they were only produced for a short time by the world’s most dyslexic counterfeiter in his basement in Queens. The only other option is to use three $2 bills, but that means more Scotch™ tape… and everyone knows there is no such thing as a $2 bill.

Next, I am a cartoonist myself considering submitting work to MAD. Now I don’t know if anybody has ever asked you this particular question about the hiring process for the magazine exactly. I’m sure you hear this all the time. But, after they buy it and I get my first paycheck, do you know of any good sushi restaurants to check out with the extra bucks I’ll have after cashing the paycheck?

Wait… you expect to get paid enough to afford food? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Thanks to Jason Meadows for the question(s). If you have a question you want answered for the mailbag about cartooning, illustration, MAD Magazine, caricature or similar, e-mail me and I’ll try and answer it here!